Holidays can be hard when you’re going through infertility treatments. Birthdays and anniversaries are a scary reminder of how much time is passing. You can prep like a champ for Mother’s and/or Father’s Day. You may even decide to skip the family get-together for any kid-centered holiday. But Halloween just may be the scariest holiday of all when you’re trying to conceive.

Why?

It’s simple. You’re not “going” to the holiday. The holiday is coming to you. Over and over. A knock on the door, or ringing of the doorbell. There is no way for a stranger to know how difficult this is for you. So they keep coming. And with every ring of the doorbell there is the risk that you just may not be able to “keep it together”. There’s a small army of goblins and ghosts, and even a few ballerinas and super heroes, so cute they can cause you to collapse in a heap of tears with their lispy “trick or treat”.

So here are a few tips to help you get through the night without howling like a werewolf.

The first defensive move would simply be not to decorate your house in a way that invites trick or treaters. Most parents steer their children away from homes not decorated for Halloween. Remember, you’re not a Grinch if you skip Halloween.

Put out the candy

Let’s face it. They really Just. Want. The. Candy.

If you put the candy in a bowl outside your door, you won’t have to face the non-stop barrage of adorable costumed kiddos. But there may be no escaping the shrieks and squeals of delight, literally running up and down the streets. So put that bowl of candy outside on Halloween, then leave for a few hours while the goblins roam. Go out for dinner or a massage. Or close the lights and curl up on the couch with your sweetie or lovable pup and watch a movie.

Eat some candy

OK, I know you’re not supposed to eat your feelings; but a few pieces of chocolate can be therapeutic. Chocolate lowers stress by stimulating your body to produce serotonin and dopamine. Those are your “feel good” neurotransmitters. Dark chocolate contains flavonoids and arginine which can elevate your mood and promote blood flow to the uterus and ovaries. This is especially important for performance, as blood circulation to the sex organs improves.⁠

Plus raw cacao beans (chocolate in its natural state) are loaded with iron, calcium, zinc, magnesium, and potassium. These minerals help maintain hormonal balance and increase egg and sperm health. Magnesium has been shown to ease symptoms of fatigue, depression and irritability – feelings often associated with infertility treatment.

So indulge in moderation without guilt. You’re welcome.

Participate

Just because you’re still waiting for your own little one to dress up, there is no reason you can’t have fun with Halloween. Host an adults-only costume party. Or if you’re up to it, consider going trick-or-treating with a friend or family member that could use help with their little ones.

Naturally, everyone is different and at different stages of their infertility journey. What works for one person, may not work for you. Or what worked in the past may not work now.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can.